Why Is It Still Hard to Speak English — Even After Years of Learning? The invisible fear that holds smart women back and how to break through it

I hear this a lot  and not from beginners. It usually comes from women who’ve spent years studying, often with excellent comprehension. They’ve completed multiple courses, passed exams, and understand almost everything they hear. And yet, when they need to speak, whether in a meeting, an interview, or even just small talk,  they freeze.

It’s one of the most frustrating things to experience, because logically, you know you’ve done the work. You’ve put in the time, you’ve practiced, you’ve learned. But something still blocks you when it matters most.

Not because you don’t know English, but because you don’t feel ready to use it.

And to be honest, I don’t believe this is really a language problem.
I think it’s a confidence problem.

The bookkeeper who thought she wasn’t ready

One of my students, a quiet, thoughtful bookkeeper, had been working for years in her small country. She was great at her job, reliable, precise, and deeply experienced. But she was earning very little, simply because of where she lived. And she had completely convinced herself that international clients were out of reach.

We worked together for a short while, and I saw quickly that she understood English well enough to work with people outside her country. Her speaking had plenty of gaps. She made mistakes, hesitated often, and didn’t feel comfortable expressing herself. But it wasn’t the level of English that was holding her back, it was the belief that she wasn’t good enough yet.

When I asked her why she wasn’t even trying to apply for international jobs, she said something I’ve heard many times before:

“Because my English isn’t good enough.”

What she meant was, “I’m afraid I’ll fail if I try.”

And honestly, that’s exactly what fear sounds like in capable women.
It doesn’t usually say, “You can’t.”
It says, “You should wait.”
“Maybe next year.”
“Just study a little more, then you’ll be ready.”

It sounds so reasonable  and that’s what makes it so convincing.

What happened next surprised us both

After a few sessions, she quietly stopped showing up. I didn’t hear from her again for several months. I assumed she’d gotten busy, or just decided it wasn’t the right time — which happens. I didn’t follow up. People come back when they’re ready.

Then one day, I got a message from her that said:

“Teacher… you were right. I took the risk. I reached out to international companies. Now I work with clients from multiple countries. I make three times more  and I finally have time for myself.”

And that’s when I realised: she didn’t need more English classes.
She needed permission to try before she felt ready.

She still made mistakes.
Her grammar wasn’t perfect.
But none of that stopped her from building a better life ,once she stopped letting fear make the decisions.

The real work we do together

This is exactly what we work on inside the English Speaking Confidence Program.

Yes, we practise grammar and improve vocabulary. But more than anything, we create a space where women can use the English they already have, even if it’s messy, hesitant, or full of mistakes. Especially then.

Because the truth is, confidence doesn’t come after fluency.
It comes from taking small steps, speaking anyway, even when you’re unsure.
And the only way to build it is by practising in a space where it’s safe to make mistakes.

What has fear already cost you?

If you’ve been studying for years but still hesitate to speak…
If you understand English but hold yourself back in real conversations…
If you’ve told yourself “not yet” more times than you can count…

Then it might be time to ask yourself:

What has fear already cost me?
And how much longer am I willing to let it?

Face Your Fear. Speak English. Unlock Your Full Potential.

At English for Ladies, we’re offering 15 days of free access to the English Speaking Confidence Program as part of our global initiative:
Face Your Fear: Speak English and unlock your full potential.

No pressure. No perfection required.
Just live coaching, powerful feedback, and a community of women who get it, because they’ve been exactly where you are.

You don’t need perfect English.
You need the courage to use the English you already have.

That’s how you grow.
That’s how you lead.
That’s how everything changes.